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I had just poured myself a cup of coffee and settled in for the 2-hour Ultragenyx Study, feeling I might have something to offer having been in the CTD world for 20 years, when the second question knocked the wind out of me: What is your greatest fear for the future? It happens every time that question is asked of me. It seems that the fear for the future is always lying just beneath the surface like an alligator waiting to strike. I immediately lost my ability to speak and raised my index finger, asking for a moment to gather myself. I’m surprised by my sudden and intense emotional response to that question, and I’m embarrassed. The ladies interviewing me are gracious and give me the time I need. I just met them, but I feel that maybe they have kids, too. Maybe they understand. I take a deep breath and attempt to convey how I feel, how I worry that my son will be mistreated, neglected, or abused without my vigilance.  I worry who is going to wipe his butt when he, a grown man, uses the bathroom. Or who is going to cut his food small enough so he doesn’t choke. Who is going to draw him away from his puzzles or iPad long enough to interact with real people from time to time? I worry he won’t understand where I went when I’m gone and that he’ll think I left him on purpose. I worry he won’t feel loved. Continue reading

We are very fortunate in our state to have scholarships for children who qualify for an IEP but don’t attend public schools. This helps with funds for a visiting Intervention Specialist (special ed teacher) as well as home-based therapies. Sonnet’s health crisis has resolved greatly since she was diagnosed and began treatment for GAMT. However, her neurologist and I vividly remember when she was dealing with fifty-plus seizures a day. It isn’t certain if a serious illness could cause another downward spiral, so our family has chosen to largely quarantine during flu season. This was extended and amplified during the pandemic. Continue reading