“Whoa” -Janet

Spiro holding his lunch bag in the kitchen

Do you ever have those days or seasons where things are just ‘alot’? I know my family goes through those days. They are hard moments… they seem consecutively laid and they are heavy. Alot of people I know have kids. I don’t walk a day in their shoes, nor do they in mine. But over the years I have come across those folks who complain about… well… in my opinion what would not even qualify as a bad day in my house.

I have 4 little ones, and my 7 year old has CTD and Autism. We have alot of ‘whoa’ moments in our home. Moments where a seemingly insignificant task becomes the battle of all time. And its in those moments, that I really absorb that a typical family never has to deal with this, and really, we are existing on different planets.

I have felt this divide for so long. So much so, that I have a hard time making casual small talk. You know… just carefree happy laughy chit chat with people. I find sometimes that my days and stress with dealing with Spiro are so heavy that even talking with someone is difficult. If you’re not a special needs parent you’re not going to understand… those heavy days… That great divide is often unseen by others. And because it is unseen, how do you get people to understand? You just can’t unload and rain on people’s cheery day to vent the life of Autism and CTD.

So I try and smile and keep my mouth shut. I try and smile and chit chat, although it feels like nails on a chalkboard. It feels like tension. I just keep plugging along… nodding at the traumatic story of potty training your 2 year old when my almost 8 year old wears diapers… agreeing with the stress of having your 4 year old complain that he didn’t want to eat his nuggets when I have to spoon feed my son his meals 80% of the time… Or nodding as you complain that your child cried when you said ‘No’ at a store to a toy, where I could not even get my child in or out of the store/car/house because of transition issues.

The list could go on and on and on… I have my hands full of kids and their issues. Am I the perfect parent? Absolutely not!!! But I’m doing my best, and if you know a special needs parent, hey, give them a call, bring them a supper, fold a load of laundry, take a typical kid for an hour, bring them a coffee, give them a hug, an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on…

But don’t, under any circumstances complain about your kid’s runny nose. Because if you do… I’ll be sure that you don’t leave until you’ve changed my 7 year old’s diaper and dosed and administered his 17 doses of meds a day… Just saying…

 

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